- Season 2
- Season 1
Nicky and Steve make a pact not to celebrate Christmas this year. But when Nicky takes pity on Alice, the wily old lady from the village, they find themselves hosting a drinks party. Nicky's Dad is invited, as are Matt and Meena, the world's smuggest neighbours. An unexpected turn of events leads to their house guests staying longer than any of them intended, while Matt and Meena's children complain that it's turning into the worst Christmas ever.
Steve is chosen to play a key role in The Lantern Man Festival – an annual village tradition, the sinister origins of which are lost in the mists of time. As with most of these village traditions, it's largely an excuse for drunken revelry. So it's not the best time for Nicky's daughter Zoe to come and stay with them, having just split up with her boyfriend in Leeds. When Zoe takes a shine to the local bad lad Bronson, Nicky and Steve have to do their best to stop a romance blossoming. As Steve is made to don a ceremonial cloak and drag a straw figure through the village, things are hotting up - but that's nothing compared to the disastrous events which unfold at the fireworks display.
Nicky and Steve get roped into taking part in a 'Come Dine With Me' style charity dine-off organised by their insufferable neighbours Matt and Meena. As well as raising money for a defibrillator for the village, it's supposed to be a bit of fun – although, as Matt points out rather ominously, "there will be a winner." Nicky and Steve's efforts come in for some robust criticism, so when it's Matt and Meena's turn to play host, tensions are already running high. The excruciating pre-dinner entertainment fails to lighten the mood, and when some unwelcome surprise guests arrive, Nicky and Steve have reached breaking point. It's feedback time – and the gloves are off.
Steve has finally got his driving licence back and promises Nicky that his speeding days are over. In spite of her doubts, it seems that he has indeed turned over a new leaf. Even when he's conned into a trip to the superstore with Alice, the devious old lady from the village, Steve manages to make the long journey across the moors without breaking the speed limit. So when Nicky's father Ken is made President of the Garthdale Bowls Club, Steve's offer of giving him a lift to the inauguration ceremony goes down well. Ken is even more impressed when Steve persuades Grizzo to lend him his brand new, high-powered sports car for the occasion.
For once, Nicky and Steve find themselves on the same side as the rest of the village. The locals are united in their opposition to a proposed fracking scheme. It will disrupt the community, destroy the beautiful countryside, and - most importantly from Nicky and Steve's point of view - mean that they will never be able to sell their house and escape the rural hell that they're stuck in.
Steve is about to land a big contract for his web design business. It would provide Nicky and Steve with a much needed financial lifeline.Imelda, the potential client, is a highly successful interior designer. A meeting at her office goes well – but in an attempt to impress her, Steve foolishly brags about the amazing renovation job that he and Nicky have done to their idyllic country cottage. It's a lie that comes back to haunt him when Imelda announces that she wants to come out and see it. The chances of landing the contract seem slim – especially as Nicky has just discovered that the drain smell in the house is being caused by a septic tank that's 'backing up' as her father Ken charmingly puts it.
Nicky and Steve's dream of an idyllic country life is proving further away than ever as they struggle to find a builder willing to fix the gaping hole in their roof.
Nicky and Steve decide to put a brave face on things and invite all their old friends from Leeds for a long overdue housewarming party. Their permanently smug neighbours, Matt and Meena, enthusiastically join in the preparations. Even Nicky's Dad, Ken, decides to grace the party with his presence, although he loses no opportunity to tell them that their money would be better spent doing their house up. It's looking like most of Nicky and Steve's friends from Leeds won't be coming but when word of the party gets round the village, a very different guest list threatens to turn up – including the dreaded Bronson. But it's Grizzo whose arrival causes the most excitement.
Nicky and Steve are missing the hustle and bustle of the city. They fantasise about all the exciting things they could be getting up to if they hadn't left their old life in Leeds and moving to the middle of nowhere. Instead, all Steve has to look forward to is a day of chasing up invoices for his web design business. Nicky's day seems to be going even worse when she's conned into taking Alice, an old lady from the village, to the doctor's. Whilst Nicky's day takes a turn for the better, Steve's takes a bizarre and frightening twist. But at least someone's happy – Nicky's dad Ken has won the meat raffle at the bowls club.
Nicky and Steve are alarmed to discover that an ancient public right of way runs straight through their garden. When Steve makes an enemy of the ramblers who insist of using it, a tense stand-off ensues. Their only hope is to persuade the villagers to sign their petition.
Meanwhile, Matt and Meena have organised their children into taking part in a sponsored recorderthon for the local hospital. They are adamant that Nicky and Steve should come along to support it. Grizzo is preoccupied with a new craze – E.F.T. or ‘tapping therapy'. Could it be the answer to Nicky and Steve's problems?
Nicky and Steve's dreams of peaceful country nights are shattered by Grizzo and his band rehearsing his latest album outdoors. But Steve isn't getting much sleep anyway - his web design business is losing customers hand over fist to a rival firm. And just to rub it in, Matt and Meena's latest business venture is going from strength to strength. When they ask Steve for some free advice on designing a website he is not impressed. But that's nothing to his reaction when Nicky manages to land him with a work experience boy from the local village – the dreaded Bronson.
When Nicky and Steve discover that their kitchen has flooded, they have to call on Nicky's dad for help. The ever-unimpressed Ken duly arrives with a pump - but Steve is convinced that the source of the flooding could be a natural spring. He hopes this will be the answer to all their problems. Nicky takes a more practical approach to their finances and decides to earn some money by walking a villager's dog. But when the locally-based rock star Grizzo turns up with some alarming news, it is not just Nicky's job that might be at risk.
Nicky and Steve's move to their dream house in the country is rapidly turning into a nightmare because they cannot get connected to the internet.
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