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Marcus, Grumio, Jason and Aurelius join the army in peace-time, hoping to win respect, romance and discounts at participating restaurants. But when war's declared, they're sent to fight on the front line for a cause they don't believe in. Now their main interest is the struggle for survival.
The journey takes our new recruits from their humdrum lives in Rome to the army garrison and tribal villages on the Empire's edge.
Jason's brother Darius is getting married and Marcus desperately wants to hire out the Crown and Toga for the occasion, while Grumio offers his services as wedding planner. But their plans are threatened when they find out that Darius is a serial jilter. Elsewhere, Marcus clashes with their lazy postman.
The boys face uncertainty when Landlord evicts them without notice from their flat. Marcus hopes his parents, who are visiting for the weekend, will help him onto the property ladder. But his dad has other plans for their savings. Jason's smooth-talking lands him a cushy job as an estate agent.
The boys begin an archaeological dig in their bar after Grumio unearths an old brooch whilst sitting on the loo. They try to keep their activity a secret but others cotton on. And when a professor of archaeology goes missing, the boys, who paid him a recent visit, are brought in for questioning.
The boys attempt to infiltrate a local firm of chariot hooligans in order to get some big drinkers into their bar. Grumio is soon welcomed into the fold by Paulus, head honcho of the Green Army, but Marcus falls out with Gloria, whose shop front keeps getting smashed up by their new clientele.
There's a heatwave in Rome and Marcus has invested in an exciting new gimmick for the bar - ice. Grumio develops an innovation of his own in the form of a hat-parasol hybrid, which attracts the attention of wealthy entrepreneur Severus. Jason and Aurelius both join male escort agency the Knights of Eros.
The boys gate-crash a posh banquet having received an invitation by mistake. Once there, Marcus attempts to win favour with their host, Senator Varus, whilst Jason seduces a bored aristocrat, Rufina. Banished to eat with the other slaves, Grumio overhears what he thinks might be a poison plot.
Marcus offers to tutor Gloria's teenage son Barney, who's struggling at school, while Jason gives him coaching in his own specialist subject, romance. Grumio is mistaken for a schoolboy and soon finds himself recruited into the under-14s boxing team.
The boys set off on a wine-buying trip to Tuscany. But when their cart has a collision on the road, they're forced to pull in to a nearby village. There, Jason hooks up with local milk-maid Calypso and Grumio develops a taste for foraged truffles.
A Germanian bar opens over the road, selling a popular drink called beer. The boys attempt to discover the recipe, with Grumio engaging his super-palate and Jason seducing the barmaid Stefi. Meanwhile, Marcus has a run-in with the local fire brigade.
When the Crown and Toga is hit by a mega tax bill, Marcus does everything in his power to find a top-notch accountant. Jason isn't helping things by giving away free drinks to his barber in exchange for haircuts. And Grumio finds a fast snail in the bar.
The boys attend a free trial session at a swanky new bathhouse and attempt to outstay their welcome. Marcus courts a potential business contact he meets in the changing room, while Jason starts dating a yoga instructor.
It's the Roman festival of love so when Marcus is asked out by Gloria from next door, he can't tell if it's a date or a meeting about their party wall. Jason tries to maintain his Lupercalia perfect-score, while Grumio enjoys a romantic meal for one.
The boys launch a cabaret night in the bar when Marcus starts dating the popular Roman satirist, Minerva. But can he cope with her dissecting their relationship live on stage? Meanwhile, Jason, Aurelius and Grumio form a house-band.
It's marathon time and the city's gone into a frenzy of fundraising. So when Grumio's mistaken as a charity case, Marcus spies a money-making opportunity. Jason bets Aurelius he can beat him in the big race despite not having run since junior school.
Despite only being open a few days, the boys' bar receives a devastating '1 Fork' review from Athena, the leading food critic in Rome. Grumio invites her back for a re-match with his experimental new menu; while Jason can't stop hiring waitresses.
Following a catastrophic industrial accident, the boys respond in their own ways: Marcus immediately seeks financial compensation, while Grumio prefers to 'go to seed' at home. Then Jason, a cheery out-of-work builder steps into their lives.
The boys meet their new neighbour, a weatherman. Marcus uses the forecast of a small tremor to bring excitement to his relationship with Delphine. Stylax tries his luck with an attractive new colleague, while Grumio discovers Indian food.
When Grumio injures another slave in a fight over a carrot, he is forced to replace him until he recovers. And so he joins a new household where work is taken seriously. Marcus invites Delphine to move in. But can she bond with Stylax?
Marcus and Stylax meet Ramases, the work-experience boy, who also happens to be the son of the company owner. Together, they invent a new office-based sport, Jugball. Grumio samples gourmet food when Ramases lends him his store-card for the emporium.
As a crimewave sweeps the city, the boys join a Roman Military Fitness class to protect themselves on the streets. Flavia introduces some dubious new security measures at work. Grumio starts dating Agatha, a talented baker, who may well be a feeder.
The boys get cultured when Grumio is street-cast to play the part of Cupid in an upcoming play. Marcus becomes his agent and uses his new connections to impress Delphine. Stylax understudies the lead actor so he can meet some theatre groupies.
Marcus' parents are visiting for the weekend and he's keen to keep them and Delphine far apart. Stylax pursues a romance with Ursula, one of the Vestal Virgins, who guard the city's sacred flame. Grumio finds some mouldy cheese under his bed and spots a business opportunity.
Grumio meets Justin, the father who left him on a hill as a baby and who now wants to make up for lost time. Stylax starts dating Camilla, a female discus thrower, on a sex ban during the Games. Marcus and Delphine come to terms with each other's past.
The boys are desperate for tickets to one of the ‘Beast shows' at the Games. Marcus meets Delphine, a fiery activist from Gaul, whom he hopes will become his ‘Gaul-friend'. Grumio clashes with Landlady, their missing Landlord's formidable mother.
Marcus is stressed because the girls will soon be deported unless they raise 3,000 denarii. Stylax suggests they bet their savings on him winning an underground chariot race. Grumio visits Landlord in prison through a sewage pipe.
The boys bump into old school friend Fabianus, who is now a hot shot lawyer living the high life in Rome. Through him, Stylax reconnects with old flame Cordelia. Meanwhile, Grumio finds something unusual hiding in their wardrobe.
The local elections arrive, so Marcus and Stylax sign up as hired clappers for wig-wearing politician Victor of the Gracchii. Grumio, however, is drawn towards another candidate named Julius Priscus. Could it simply be because he is giving away free promotional plums?
The boys buy an eccentric slave called Mushki at an auction. Grumio finds his position in the household gradually usurped as the new guy impresses Marcus. Stylax, however, has a sneaking suspicion that Mushki might be a psychopath.
When Grumio falls ill, Marcus opts for a cheap alternative treatment. Stylax meets a man who offers to help him become a chariot racer.
While taking out the rubbish, Grumio makes a surprising discovery. Marcus searches for a way to avoid seeing Cynthia's "challenging" one-woman play.
When the insufferable Aurelius asks him to be best man for his upcoming wedding, Marcus strives to plan a budget-friendly stag party.
After Stylax places a winning wager at the chariot race, the boys disagree over how to best spend their newfound fortune.
An old soothsayer warns that the end is nigh -- which means that when it comes to wooing Cynthia, it's now or never for Marcus.
A new lodger captures the guys' attention, both with her looks and the exotic yellow fruit she plans to sell, something she calls a "banana."
As Stylax frets that he may have contracted an unseemly infection, Marcus strives to befriend Cynthia's pet cat, Felix.
A vase adorned with erotic images gives the guys a new way of seeing Cynthia. Marcus is shocked by Stylax's relationship with his cousin.
Cynthia's new gladiator boyfriend is a hit with the gang, but Marcus can't help but let his jealousy show.
Marcus is instantly smitten with his new neighbor, Cynthia. Meanwhile, Stylax is delighted to receive an invitation to an orgy.
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